….let it rain…..

The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain. – Longfellow

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I’ve had a slow start to summer – finding the rhythm of not having schedules to follow.

I started working as a teaching assistant for a number of reasons, but a big factor was being off work when my children were off. Ten years ago, that made a lot of sense – I had two children, aged 10 and 13. It worked well when they were home. Now, there is a huge open space that is summer. And I know, you are thinking, wow, how lucky is that? I know how lucky I am to have my summers off and since I am not paid over the summer months, I am doubly lucky that I am able to afford that.

That being said, I find the transition into being home difficult I think because the absence of my children hits harder. As I’ve talked about in this blog as well as my writing one, I could not be happier for my children, that they have rich and fulfilling lives. They are doing what they should be doing – living THEIR lives. I am blessed to have them a part of my life, via Skype, texts, phone calls or face-to-face. Yet, there is this keenly felt space where they used to be.

I was never a mom who couldn’t wait for my children to leave home – I stayed home pretty much full-time for 12 years in order to be a hands on, involved mom. For the past two years,  neither of the children (now adults) have been living at home. So, the perk of taking the job with the summers off to be with them is gone. And it makes me wonder, should I do something else? Then, I have a couple of days in a row where I get things done and I accomplish so much and I get to lie in the hammock in between bouts of activity….and I remember that summers off, no matter what, are a good thing. A wonderful thing. A thing to embrace.

Over the past week or so, I’ve not been feeling the summer vibe at all. Feeling like I was standing in the rain without an umbrella. My hubby reminded me about the great summer I ended up having last year – how much I enjoyed being home. So, I did what the quote said – I let it rain. As I have done often over the last several years, I just allowed the reality of the empty nest to set in and then found a new way to spend my days.

Off to the hammock to start a new book….